Happy Halloween!!

Sallie

A little bit of this and that

Dear Fellow Journalers,,

Some humor from long ago. Enjoy!

Sallie

Fellow Journalers,,

I don’t know about you, but I am pretty much frustrated with all the goings on in my town, state, country. Life is hard enough without the negativity that surrounds us on a daily basis. Some days it is really hard to write about anything positive so I decided to take a break and offer you a little bit of what I have seen lately that will, hopefully take you away from the stresses you are under. This first bit is a piece I saw in the New Haven Register dated September 20, 2018. It is a story by Bob Story entitled ” How to give your cat a pill.” I must warn you, this piece is really funny!

” Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as though holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on the other side of cat’s mouth, and gently apply pressure to his cheeks. When cat open up, pop pill into mouth. Cat will then close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Repeat the process. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Kneel on floor with cat wedged between knees, immobilizing front and rear paws. Ask assistant  to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into cat’s throat. Flick pill down ruler with forefinger, and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from living room curtain valance. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth, and set aside for later gluing. Remove next pill from foil wrap.

Wrap cat in beach towel, and ask assistant to lie prone on cat with cat’s head visible under assistant’s armpit. Put pill in end of paper tube you’ve made for this purpose. Then force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow.

Check label to make sure pill is not lethal to humans. Apply bandage to assistant’s forearm, and remove blood from carpet with soap and cold water.

Call 911 and ask fire department to retrieve cat from eucalyptus tree. Remove remaining pill from foil wrap. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine, and securely tie leg of dining table. Put on heavy-duty pruning gloves. Force cat’s mouth open with tire iron. Drop pill, previously hidden in one ounce raw hamburger into cat’s mouth. Hold head vertically with nose pointed to ceiling and pour one-half pint of water down cat’s throat.

Ask assistant to drive you to emergency room, Sit quietly while doctor administers anesthetic, stitches forearm and removes pill remnants from eye. Drop off cat, along with a generous donation, at animal shelter, and adopt a goldfish.”

Don’t try this at home!

Who are you?

There is one event during the month of October that young children look forward to – Halloween! On Halloween, children wear masks to disguise their faces. But masks are worn every day by everyone. We hide our emotions, our thoughts, our lives from others. There’s a saying “See something, say something”. The problem is, that many of us don’t. We are more afraid of speaking up or standing up for others. First responders run toward trouble while everyone else runs away. How many of us hide our true selves?

In another time, “G” wrote the following post. Let me know what you think.

JUST WHO ARE YOU?

Have you ever stopped and taken stock of who you are? I mean REALLY who you are. Just who ARE you?

Are you what other people say / think you are? Are you what you THINK you are? Are you what the “social measurements” say you are? Are you what you’ve been, or what you’re becoming? Just who ARE you?

And when you look in the mirror who do you see? Do you see you, or someone else? Just who are you?

And by the way, are you who YOU are, or what someone else WANTS you to be. Just who ARE you?

Are you what you started out to be, or are you still looking for what you WANT to be? Just who ARE you?

And say, if you know who you are today, are you certain it’s who you want to be TOMORROW? How difficult is it to be who you are, and how difficult is it to change? Just who ARE you?

Then is who you are what you WANT to be? Just who ARE you?

And while we’re at it, are you a human being or a human BECOMING? Just who ARE you?

Have you ever helped someone become what they wanted to be? Or have you spoiled someone’s dream of what they wanted to be? Just who ARE you?

Excuse me now, while you ponder “Just who ARE you?” I’ve got to go figure out —–Just who I am!

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